076: [FEMALE STORIES] Taking Leaps of Faith, Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, & Aligning Passion with Career with Carley DeMarco

Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Other Way! My goal with this podcast is to feature inspiring guests who are forging unconventional paths in work, life, and health. From experts on women's fertility and menopause to spiritual teachers exploring Zen philosophy in today's world, we dive into multifaceted topics that intrigue me because, well, we're all multifaceted.

Today, I'm thrilled to introduce our next guest, the very multidimensional Carley DeMarco, writer, yoga teacher, and founder of Clayton Yoga Studio and The Retreat, a blue light-free haven for physical wellness. Our conversation spans a range of topics:

• Carley's unique journey founding not one, but two companies
• Breaking through barriers and releasing what holds us back
• Embracing leaps of faith in manifesting our dreams
• Overcoming imposter syndrome and skeptics in innovation
• Honoring and trusting our inner voice
• The transformative power of surrender and letting go
• Clearing space for new beginnings

And much more!

 About Carley:

Carley is a writer, yoga teacher, and founder of The Retreat: a monthly print wellness and spirituality newspaper helping you disconnect to reconnect and in-person getaways.

To connect with Carley:

 IG: theretreat.bycarley

www.theretreatbycarley.com 

Chapters

• 0:02 The Other Way
• 10:56 The Evolution of Passion and Purpose
• 15:57 The Power of Taking Leaps
• 28:47 Navigating Alignment and Evolution
• 34:47 Letting Go to Let Grow
• 43:46 Daily Journaling, Spiritual Practices, and Coffee

Transcript

Kasia: 0:02

Hello and welcome to the Other Way, a lifestyle podcast exploring uncommon, unconventional or otherwise alternative approaches to life, business and health. I'm your host, kasia. I'm the founder of InFlow, a women's wellness brand that designs intentional products to help women reconnect to their unique cyclical rhythm and find a balance between being and doing. This podcast is an extension of my mission within Flow. Here we provide intentional interviews with inspiring humans, trailblazers, researchers, spiritual teachers and more on the journey of doing things the other way. On the journey of doing things the other way. Hello, my friends, and welcome back to the Other Way. My intention with this podcast has always been to bring on inspiring guests who, you guessed it, are taking the path less traveled in work, life and health, which is why you'll notice that I cover a wide range of topics, from women's health and viewing fertility and menopause and perimenopause from a different lens, through to spirituality and topics such as Zen in the modern world or how to approach plant medicine with a very different perspective. And I cover all of these different topics, these very diverse topics, because, a they interest me and, b we are multifaceted and in celebrating this theme of multidimensionality, I am so excited to welcome a very multidimensional next guest, Carley DeMarco. Carley is a writer, a yoga teacher, she is the founder of Clayton Yoga Studio and she is the founder of the Retreat, which is a blue light free, physical wellness newspaper yes, y'all physical, like you can hold it in your hand made of paper. I know what a wild concept. It is mind blowing and I absolutely love it. If y'all remember anything from my past episodes on digital minimalism and the light phone, you'll know how passionate I am about this topic. Okay, I digress.

Kasia: 2:13

Today we are talking about quite a few really amazing topics, from Carley's unconventional journey into founding not one but two companies in a very short period of time. Carley's journey unweaving and releasing the blocks that get in our way, the blocks that got in her way in creating these businesses. But with some very tangible advice for you as well, if you are feeling called to build something new and perhaps feeling that all too common feeling of resistance. How taking leaps of faith is a crucial part of manifestation, overcoming imposter syndrome and the naysayers when creating something new, tapping into and listening to that inner voice, the power of doing so, as well as really practical ways for connecting to it, the beauty and practice of surrender and releasing attachment to the outcome, even for those of us who have those big aspirational dreams, how can we pursue those dreams without feeling that clinging, that suffering that comes with clinging to the outcome, letting go as a precursor to bringing in anything new? And when we talk about letting go, also letting go of our identity, our identity as founder of X or our identity as partner in this relationship, the power of doing that and why that's so important and we cover so much more.

Kasia: 3:35

This episode was such a joy to record and I truly hope it's an even bigger joy for you to listen to. Without further ado, let's jump on into it. Carley, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. Well, we've been waiting for this for a couple of months, I feel like, and it is perfect timing to be having this conversation, because you just shared that you sold the studio today, right Like your first baby, clayton Yoga.

Kasia: 4:06

Yeah, A couple hours ago it was official oh my God, that is wild, and it just goes so well with I don't know when you filled out the speaker form. I think it was like a little while ago where you talked about both like bringing in new ideas and letting them go as being like a core theme in your life. So I'm really excited to get into all of that. But before we do, I would love to kick it off with a question that I ask every single guest, and that is what are three words that you would use to describe?

Carley DeMarco: 4:37

yourself, oh, I think. Sensitive, motivated and loving. Oh, I love those.

Kasia: 4:48

I love those. Those are so beautiful. I mean, they definitely come through in the newspaper that you publish and I feel like your background is so unique because those being the words to describe you then, like coupled with all the things that you do and that, like, you've achieved and that you've created and let go of. So you are a writer, a yoga teacher, you're the founder of the Retreat, which is a physical blue light free wellness newspaper that I love, and I'm curious. I would love to get a bit of your backstory. How did this evolution of navigating from writer to founder to now, like letting go of one of your firstborns, come to be?

Carley DeMarco: 5:45

always making physical hardbound books with leftover cardboard boxes from my mom's Zappa orders and I was just always so in love with writing and creating. And then, on top of that, I was always so interested in business. The main games that I played when I was little was store, and I remember that me and my aunt used to make fake purses out of construction paper and we were like we're going to sell these to Hallmark and I just always was in love with the idea of having my own business. Always really into writing.

Carley DeMarco: 6:16

And I think when I was little my best classes were, of course, lit and anything like that. But I remember in writing class maybe in fourth grade or something I wrote a fiction piece and we had to perform it in front of the whole class or whatever. And I just remember this one girl sitting on the floor in front of the podium and she was smiling so big and she just loved the story so much. And it feels very like Lady Gaga, like after the promotion of what was that movie that she was in with Bradley Cooper.

Kasia: 6:45

Oh my god, I'm blanking on it. It's a star is born.

Carley DeMarco: 6:48

A star is born, okay, so do you remember how, like that meme of her was going around where she just kept saying over and over again like you just need one person to believe in you, oh yeah.

Kasia: 6:59

She just said it in every interview, by the way for today, in every interview, by the way for today.

Carley DeMarco: 7:03

So basically I just remember to this day this girl's just smiling so big and how good that that made me feel, because I had worked so hard on on this piece, and so I think that that is really what has kept me writing throughout the years. And so after I graduated from college, I became a ghostwriter for women's health, and so I spent probably five years doing that and keeping up with my yoga practice, which I began in high school. And then it kind of just became this point when I realized I was losing my voice in writing Because as a ghostwriter I was pretending to be a mom of four children and I was pretending to be doctors writing about women's health. So I just got to this point where I lost my voice and I lost the love of writing and I love to write about wellness and spirituality, but in my own voice, like it just felt like there was this major disconnect. So I mean there's kind of like two pathways, but basically the one part of me is like hating my job as a ghostwriter, and then the other part of me is really leaning into my yoga practice and I had been practicing for maybe 15 years. At this point a few years ago I decided to do my yoga teacher training because I had moved to this really small town where I live now and it was hard to make friends around here.

Carley DeMarco: 8:20

Where did you move from? So we moved from Denver, colorado, me and my husband. We got a Ford trans van and we spent a couple months out on the road trying to decide where we wanted to not live permanently and it's funny that I even say that because we're moving again but just like our next spot to kind of live and explore. And we ended up in Clayton, georgia, which is this tiny town in the North Georgia mountains and we had been coming up here for 10 years because his parents have a house up here and we moved up here. It was really hard to meet people our age and there was no yoga studio, and so I was like you know, I really want to be in a community of like-hearted people. So I was like I'm going to do a yoga teacher training with no intention to end up teaching at all. But then, of course, like as many people's stories are, is like you fall in love with a certain aspect of it, and I really fell in love with theming classes, like I'm a sucker for a good story, like I always have some story to tell in the beginning that weaves into the rest of the class. And then when I was done the training, there was no studios. There's our local gym and I had reached out to them and said, hey, like I really want to teach and they were like, oh yeah, you can definitely teach, blah, blah, blah. But then they ghosted me. So one day and I didn't love the classes there was very gym yoga where it's like you're there for a workout and that's about it and that's not really my completely different vibe. Yeah, it's a completely different vibe. Different vibe, yeah, it's a completely different vibe.

Carley DeMarco: 9:47

So one day I was driving through town and there's my favorite building I mean, our town is two streets and my favorite building that has vines growing up the side of it, it's a brick building. In one of the doorways, like the windows, it said for lease. And I immediately just like, did an illegal left turn parked, took a picture and my husband's a real estate agent. I was like, can you get me some info on this? Like, left turn parked, took a picture and my husband's a real estate agent. I was like, can you get me some info on this Like it'd be a really cute spot for a yoga studio. So he did and it turned out that 30 other people had applied for the space and so I um at the time and I still am was really into to be magnetic. The um neural manifestation, like hypnosis stuff, and I just walked around in the woods behind my house and I was just visualizing like hypnosis stuff. And I just walked around in the woods behind my house and I was just visualizing like opening the door to the studio and teaching 12 classes a week, even when I had a full-time job, but like the struggle of it and the best parts of it, like the community of it, all of the classes and events we would have, but also like sweeping the floor and all of that other stuff. And it turned out after I had come home from doing one of the manifestation tracks, my landlord called me and was like all right, you got the spot and I was happy, dancing like, jumping up and down. So then I ended up opening the studio.

Carley DeMarco: 10:56

At the time I still had my writing job and I kept saying to myself like okay, in three months I'll quit and then I'll just focus on the studio, just so that I feel like financially secure, because you know it takes a lot to open a space and whatnot. But every time it would come around I would have this scarcity mindset about it and I would kind of freak out and be like you know what, no, next month, next month, next month and I kept pushing it off and then we eventually got to June of last year when, out of nowhere, the company dissolved. It was basically like the universe just telling me like you can't have this job anymore, like you need to do what you're supposed to do. But the part that I'm missing in the story is right before I opened the studio, I had a vision of doing a newspaper and I just thought it was the best idea.

Carley DeMarco: 11:43

My husband loves the newspaper.

Carley DeMarco: 11:44

Like I'd look over was the best idea. My husband loves the newspaper. Like I'd look over at him and he'd be sitting on the couch with his coffee and doing the crossword or Sudoku, whatever it is, reading the newspaper, and I'm like hunched over, like a gremlin on my phone, like burning my eyes, just like getting distracted, going in scroll holes on Instagram, and I look at him and I'm just like you know, give me a section of that. So he passed me a section and it was so boring. It was just like such a snooze and I'm like how cool would it be if, basically, instagram was in the paper form. Like you have your journal prompts, you have all of the inspiring people and you get deep dive interviews with them instead of short stories of the best of their life, but you also see the worst, so that it offers you inspiration and then an invitation to have compassion for yourself, instead of looking at people like we do on Instagram and just automatically assume like their lives are perfect. But but seeing those people who are expansive for you in paper and learning them, like, learning about them as a dynamic person, like truly like human in all of the facets.

Carley DeMarco: 12:42

So I kept putting the newspaper off, basically because I had the studio and I still had my ghostwriting position. But then when the company dissolved, I was like this is my chance. So I took the two weeks that I had all that extra space and I just went balls to the wall with it. I went so hard, did the entire June issue myself and it took a long time to find a printer and a mailer. I eventually found one in France, as you know, which is good now because we're global, but at the time I'm literally like all right, I just want 10 strangers to sign up for this. 10 strangers, because I know that sounds silly, especially in our world where you look at Instagram and it's like this person has 300,000 followers, but for me it felt like having 10 people in the room with me. And again it felt like having that girl, olivia Garcia, sitting in front of me, and if one person's impacted with what I'm writing, then that's huge. So my goal was 10 people and it went way better than that. It just like blew up very quickly, very naturally. Yeah, I mean, I hope that that answered kind of like the origin story of everything.

Carley DeMarco: 13:43

But basically today was the last day of having the studio because, one, I'm moving, but two, I really just I love teaching, but the side of the studio that's not so fun for me and it's not worth it for me is like the business side of it.

Carley DeMarco: 13:58

It feels super intense. I don't love being a boss. It's just a lot of things that I think I was holding onto because of ego, of literally being like the girl in town who owns a yoga studio, and it was such part of my identity that I had to get really clear with myself. It's just like well, do you love doing this? Because, like, is it really supportive for the community if you stay on because of the ego part? Or would it be more supportive if you still taught classes or still held retreats for your students, instead of, like, not giving the love and the energy that the business truly, truly needs? So I'm just at this point now where I had to kind of let that go so that the newspaper can really I can really focus on that, because I've always been the girl that's juggling 10 things at once and doesn't give one thing my my full attention. So I'm excited to just focus on the paper.

Kasia: 14:51

I mean there's so much there. I mean, first of all, I just want to share that. Having you reflect so much of like what your childhood looks like, I'm just like, oh my gosh, like where were you? Like we could have been friends. I feel like that is literally what my childhood looked like. Like I remember I was telling my husband he's like didn't you play games when you were a kid? I was like no, like for the youngest, you know, when I was really young, during recess I would read like the entire time, and then I would go home and my brother's two years younger than me, like we would play all sorts of like imagination games and a lot of them were very business focused as well like creating cafes or like I don't know, like I created like a Harry Potter camp for like my entire kind of cul-de-sac that I lived on. So I just love hearing that because I'm like, oh my gosh, that is like expansive in TBM terms and then like just so relatable to hear that being like such a core part of your life. But what I think is just so amazing is hearing you just really diving into the things that are lighting you up, even with another job, even with kind of.

Kasia: 15:57

You know some of the naysayers might say like, oh it's, it's really hard to open a yoga studio up in a small town and you know it doesn't exist before. So like, why should? You's really hard to open a yoga studio up in a small town and you know it doesn't exist before. So like, why should you do it? Like I can just imagine like all the negative self-talk that probably came up and or might have come up during that time and I'm just so impressed that you took that leap of faith so I actually really want to start there. I'm curious, like what was the journey of doing something like that right? Like you just got your teacher training? You are, you've kind of always worked really as a ghostwriter and then jumping into this completely other field. What was the process of like of that for you?

Carley DeMarco: 16:36

Yeah, well, we are really small town and and in addition to being super small, we're also very southern. So I had a lot of backlash in the realm of like you can't bring that stuff around here. That was probably the scariest part for me there. And I even remember one time, like I had kept the fact that I got the lease and I had the space. I mean I had to redo the entire thing, like there was a lot of renovation to be done and I was keeping it quiet for for a while.

Carley DeMarco: 17:05

And then I remember one time we're at the local brewery and you know everybody's talking about like who do you think is going in that space? Who do you think is going in that space? And I kind of under my breath said like well, what would you guys think of? Like a yoga studio? And these two women laughed and said it would never work. And you know that was such a big bummer for me.

Carley DeMarco: 17:22

I remember coming home and like my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, he was just like, don't worry about that noise. And so there was that voice that was just like who do you think you are? And there was that voice over and over again, like this is going to fail. Who do you think you are? But there was a voice that was way louder than that and it was just like you need to do this. Everything in my being just knew that I needed to do it. And now I realized that because, okay, wait.

Carley DeMarco: 17:51

So my favorite quote of all. Well, I have two favorite quotes, but one of my favorite quotes about fear is by Carl Jung, and he says where your fear is there, your task is. And fear really is that navigator, and it's it's just showing you, like where you really need to go in order to evolve. And so I had the fear. And it's not about, like, not having the fear.

Carley DeMarco: 18:13

I think a lot of people are like you need to push past the fear, but why don't you just like ride it, because it has something to teach you. So you got to feel it. But yeah, I guess my process with that was kind of ignoring. Not ignoring it like, recognizing it, but then recognizing even more deeply, like in my heart, what was the true, what was the true calling there? And, as it turns out like a lot of people who love yoga came out of the woodwork and you, like I was very surprised about the support of the community from that end. Yeah, it was. I felt really held and supported there, of course, like the two girls who laughed like they never came.

Kasia: 18:46

But they didn't need to come. I mean it sounds like you know they weren't the right fit anyway. I mean, no, I think that that is just so powerful. I love, I love you kind of talking about the fact that you know. I think that, at least for the longest time, I think I perceived in my own life that if there was fear, that it was like a sign that, okay, that's danger, right, and like really reframing that, that like the idea of the fear just not existing, for you to take that leap of faith is kind of unrealistic, not even unrealistic, Like I just don't think that's like the goal in a way, right, like the fear goes away, like after you've taken the leap, after you've taken a few steps forward, and then the next leap is going to bring up fear as well, because that's like an area of growth, and I think, just like reframing that it's not about removing the fear, but just like coexisting with it. That is just so, so, so powerful, yeah 100%, 100%.

Kasia: 19:41

So I'm curious with the newspaper you talked about. You know imagining the first 10 women that would sign up for this, and then it kind of like blasted out of the water. I mean, when I saw it I was like boom, I didn't even know who you were. I was like this is what I want, I need it, I'm signing up for it. And you know, it's just so exciting to see how far it's grown. Like I'm curious, especially you know, being kind of juggling both two businesses and starting again something new with this newspaper. What was the process like around curating some of the incredible muses that you have? So you've had some amazing like leaders in the wellness space featured in your newspaper. And you know, like when I first saw the newspaper, I'll just say this is like me stereotyping. I was like all right, this is definitely a newspaper straight out of LA, like you're part of that community out there right, and then.

Kasia: 20:33

I find out that here you are in Georgia, like you run a yoga studio, you're running this newspaper, you have incredible, incredible writing, but you also have some amazing guests, and so tell us about that process of like bringing on these like hard hitters in the wellness world.

Carley DeMarco: 20:48

It's so funny that you say that because so many people think that I'm in LA, like I'll have. So many emails from people will be like, oh, like, come to this this weekend. I'm like I don't, I live in the middle of nowhere, but it is really funny that you say this is the coolest thing.

Kasia: 21:00

I think it's the coolest thing Honestly. I love it. I love it. It makes it like that much cooler, like 10%, 20%.

Carley DeMarco: 21:08

So a lot of our readership is in LA. I will say that, which is funny, it happened. The muses happened so naturally so I wasn't even really planning for the whole muse thing to happen. So for those of you of listeners that don't know, each newspaper has a theme and the theme is inspired by the muse or the main interview of the issue and then from there other articles, practices, prompts and recipes come together to kind of make up the larger fabric of the theme.

Carley DeMarco: 21:37

I mean, shout out to Gabby Azorski, who has the Flower Portal and Spiral Deeper podcast, which she didn't have when this happened about a year ago now. But basically I had found her through looking at moon juices story and moon juice had like reposted something that she posted and I am such a sucker for like anything aesthetic, anything like earthy and beautiful I'm a tourist and so I clicked on her and I went through her page and I was like oh, this girl, like this, is such a calm place on the internet, so I followed her and then I guess that she had like seen that I followed her, so she went through. I love her.

Kasia: 22:13

By the way, I just met her at a Reiki training, and then I spent time with her at Spirit Weavers. Yes, oh wait.

Carley DeMarco: 22:20

Yeah, she just emailed me about Spirit Weavers. A lot of, actually, of our readers went to spirit weavers and you told me about it too, and everybody's like you have to go, you have to go. So I'm going to add that to my list. Okay, so then Gabby had posted, like a week later or something. I'm going through a carousel and there's a photo of me and my husband riding on a motorcycle, like the shadow picture that I took. That she took from my Instagram and titled like the post inspo. And so I'm like what this girl who's inspiring me just wrote inspo and like put up a picture of us. I was telling my husband this, and so I reached out to her and I just said, oh, like thanks for posting that. Like I actually just started this thing a week ago. It's a print newspaper. Like I'd love to send you one, and she was like yeah, of course. So I sent her one and then she posted about it and she has a very loyal follower base and she also worked for Christy Dawn, so Christy saw that and then she commented on my post of the newspaper and said brilliant, and it's.

Carley DeMarco: 23:22

I think at this point it was fourth. I think it was actually fourth of July last year, and I'm like spinning, because she's one of my biggest expanders, christy like I love the way that she mothers, I love how she is in her business and how everything is for the earth, and she's just such a and now I know this for sure Like she's a very, very kind and generous, generous person. So, anyway, so she commented brilliant. And I'm like sitting in the truck with my husband, I'm like I think someone must have like hacked her or like is this a fake account? Like I'm like what is even happening? And then I realized it was her and I'm like freaking out. I'm texting my best friend who actually lives out in LA and I'm like you'll never believe this. I just like took a screenshot and she was like holy shit. So anyway, eventually I sent her the paper and then she posted about it and then from there it was kind of a bit of a snowball effect.

Carley DeMarco: 24:11

So the muses that we've had in the past year, like some of them have followed the newspaper account or had followed my personal account, because I actually didn't have an Instagram until January for the newspaper and then. So from there it's kind of natural like me reaching out because they followed, or like responding to a little question box in their Instagram thing and then it kind of spiraling from there. So I didn't start doing cold reach outs for interviews until pretty recently and I have to say, like every single person is so nice about it, I have not had a bad experience reaching out to someone who I'm really inspired by and who are very popular on Instagram. It has never felt like, oh, I don't have time for this, something that's still in the small stages. They're all really excited and I've had people like Jordan Younger, who is of the Balanced Blonde.

Carley DeMarco: 25:07

She was the March Muse and I've loved her for a while, I've listened to her podcast for a while and she's one of the nicest, most generous people and I think because I know the muses so well and because I'm so inspired by them and I've written all their names in my journal as a manifestation list for guests and I've written them all down and I'm checking and checking and checking and I, you know, I've written all their names in my journal as like a manifestation list for guests and I've written them all down and I'm like checking and checking and checking and because I feel like I am connected with them through their life on social media and I'm doing air quotes, but that I can ask really good questions and really thoughtful questions. And I remember Jordan saying like this is the best interview ever, and so that right there felt it felt pretty good. Yeah, I would just say, naturally organically, but I always have to shout out and show gratitude for Gabby and Christy because that's kind of how it got the ball rolling.

Kasia: 25:55

And I think it's so huge though, because you did take the initial initiative and I think, throwing it out there to send Gabby the newspaper in the first place, put it out there into the world, like something that's like, in these early stages, to have the courage to do that, I think that's really bold, and I think it just goes to show people that you know, the one moment that can make the difference in your business can be a completely unexpected moment, and it's just like taking that chance I think is so important. So you know, yes, all the credits Gabby I love her and all the credit to you for reaching out to her in the first place too.

Carley DeMarco: 26:31

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I mean the worst thing that someone can say is no, and then it's just not meant to be, and like there's no hard feelings there. I mean everybody has like really deep, eccentric lives and you don't know. Like it's just no hard feelings at all and I think that it's. I mean, I just think that it's really cool for like the first time in my life I'm, I'm proud, I'm like really proud and present in the moment with, with the, with the newspaper.

Carley DeMarco: 27:01

Unlike my experience with the studio is, I feel like I had a really hard time being present and proud of what I was building because it was such hard work, like from complete scratch. It was such hard work. And now I look at the studio and I'm like I'm writing the exit email, drowning my laptop, giving my laptop water damage, like telling everybody that I'm I'm passing on the torch to the next owner. I mean you got to really love what you're doing and then if you really love it and you really believe in it, then it's easy to share. I mean, of course you still have that fear, like what, if they say no or what? If they don't think it's cool, then they're just not your person. It is what it is A hundred percent.

Kasia: 27:36

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Kasia: 28:47

Now back to the episode. You just mentioned something that I think is really interesting, which is like the visual I'm getting is like either pushing the boulder up the mountain, or like pushing the boulder with you a little bit down the hill, or like maybe up and down rolling hills, but there's that momentum that feels good when you're working in alignment with the thing that really lights you up. And you kind of referenced how, yes, you had the passion and the initiative and, who knows, like maybe starting the studio was like the first thing to propel you into this whole entrepreneurship world. Right, Like we don't know how this is going to all turn out. It's going to be full circle. I find that it always comes together.

Kasia: 29:27

I'm curious, kind of reflecting on the things that really flow and resonate versus the things that don't. How would you decipher between the two, like moving forward in your life? Right, If you were really thinking about things that felt aligned because I do think there's also this misconception that you know I think hard work will apply in both cases, but the experience of it could be really different. So you talked about how you know the studio is a bit of a struggle. So, kind of looking back at the studio versus the newspaper, what would you kind of? What kind of advice would you give to the version of you that was trying to understand if this is or isn't a fit? Yeah.

Carley DeMarco: 30:02

I mean, I think that you always just have to try. Yeah, I mean, I think that you always just have to try. I knew that I didn't want to own a studio. I couldn't see myself in the future owning a studio for 10 years. I knew that deep down. I just knew that been able to have the base of that without teaching 12 classes a week, without building my own community and seeing do people even resonate with the stories I tell, or like my teaching or whatever, like if I had just done the training and then kind of just messed around like in my room by myself practicing teaching, like it would never, we would never be where we we are. Even if part of you wants to do something, I really think that you should do it, because there's always that chance of regret in the end and just maybe getting clear on like well, why do I want to do this? Am I coming from a place of ego or whatever? Or is there something here for me and that is this just like a stepping stone basically.

Carley DeMarco: 31:07

So what I learned every single day at the studio? Every single day I learned something new. I failed every single day and I remember going into it and being like I do not want to fail once, I don't want to make one mistake. And that was just the most ridiculous, silliest thing ever, because you never learn. And I interviewed Otis Baskowskis, who's Christy's husband we did a men's issue for July and he was saying, yeah, I say to my boys like you, either win or you learn. And that really resonates with me, because if I were to just have the studio just be an immediate blast off success and if it just went perfectly every single day, what would I really be learning? Truly, what would you be learning?

Carley DeMarco: 31:52

So I guess, back to I mean I don't think this is answering your question at all, but you need to try something in order to know if you're really misaligned with it. And then it's getting to the point where I mean I talk about this when I'm sharing about how I'm letting go of the studio, where I'm just juggling and one of the balls I just want to throw on the ground, like I don't want it anymore, just feels really heavy and one of them I want to just hold really close to me, and I think that visual is is really nice, because it's just like well, what do you really want to care for? What do you want to put all of your energy in, and then that's where you're aligned. I mean the studio at one point that felt like the ball I wanted to hold really close to me. But as you move through life and you evolve and you change and you realize what works and what doesn't, and what you really love and what you don't. I mean it's all just a process.

Carley DeMarco: 32:43

So it's just being present really and intentional with your days and checking in with yourself. Like, am I just moving through the motions? There's a difference between sticking with it and pushing through, and I always talk about that. Like when we're doing something, yeah, like when we're doing something difficult. It's like are you pushing through and you're letting your mind go somewhere else? Are you sticking with it because you love it and you believe in it and you want to go through all of the hard things because it's worth it?

Kasia: 33:10

I think that you actually answered it really really well. Like one, you don't know if it's going to be the experience of sticking with it or like pushing. You know kind of like forcing versus pushing because you want to. I butchered that quote, but whatever, we know what we're talking about here.

Kasia: 33:25

You don't know which direction that's going to go in until you try in the first place.

Kasia: 33:29

And so I think what I really loved I just want to kind of like reflect what I heard you say is releasing the end outcome, because you knew you didn't want to maybe necessarily be a studio owner for the next 20 years, but you still took the plunge right and like that led to a releasing.

Kasia: 33:45

It sounds like a lot of perhaps perceptions around perfection and trying and taking bigger risks, which perhaps is what gave you the courage you don't know right to start the newspaper and do this next thing, and then who knows how that's going to evolve with like the retreats that you're doing not just the retreat, the newspaper, but like the retreats that you're doing and so I love that. But I really just want to like shout out the main like huge theme that I think a lot of people struggle with as well, and this is one of the things that I definitely experienced kind of leaving a very life that I had like built up for many years building up like my career as a executive in tech and like running TEDx events to leave that behind to jump into something new. It is the releasing of the identity. I think that is so important because that can hold us back. So I love, love, love that you named that.

Carley DeMarco: 34:35

Yeah, that's super. It's super difficult to. I mean, you're losing a part of yourself, you're letting go like a past version of you. So it is. It is super difficult.

Kasia: 34:46

A hundred percent. So one question I do want to ask you is about this journey of building a business and your experience of both kind of striving or aspiring for success, but also detaching from the outcome, because you just so eloquently shared with us how the journey has evolved for you in ways that you didn't even think that it would. And then now you're building up, of course, the readership with the newspaper. Who knows what that is going to lead to? What is it like? What is your experience of both aspiring for some sort of a grand vision but being flexible enough to let go of the outcome if it doesn't look like the way you expected it to Do? You have like a practice that supports that? Is there like a quote that you reflect on? Because I think that that's so important for those of us who are trying to take the path less traveled which, by the way, is the theme of this podcast and we're trying to do big and different things.

Carley DeMarco: 35:40

Yeah, there is a story that I always think of the boy, the horse, the fox and the mole. There is a story that I always think of the boy, the horse, the fox and the mole, and the horse and the boy are in the woods and the boy says to the horse, well, I can't see a way through. And the horse says to the boy, well, can you see the next step? And the boy says yes, and the horse says okay, well then, just take that.

Carley DeMarco: 35:59

And I think so often we are so consumed with what's happening once we get out of the woods, like what is that going to look like? And we're missing, just like what's right in front of us. We're just missing taking that next step. And so for me it's like, of course, I have these big dreams for the newspaper and I have all of these ideas, but if I am so consumed with that, with the potential in years from now, then I'm missing being present with all the magic that can happen right now. And I think that that's what I learned in the first few months of having the paper is just like, if you're on your path and you're aligned, like just take the next step, because everything is conspiring to help you get there and wherever it is, it's way better than whatever you're imagining by far.

Carley DeMarco: 36:48

And then the other quote, my number one favorite quote by Georgia O'Keeffe is I've been terrified every moment of my life, but I've never let that stop me from doing anything I wanted to do. These are gems. I mean, she's so, she's so good, she's so good.

Kasia: 37:03

Oh God, I'm just going to like clip these for people. We'll have reels and then I'll just re-listen to them every time I'm having a rough day.

Carley DeMarco: 37:11

None of them are me. I mean, I can't take the credit for it. It's all things that I just. It's all right.

Kasia: 37:15

We're going to provide credit where credit's due, but that's the kind of inspiration we need, good. So let's talk about letting go. I think that a lot of the time, we're so fixated on the end goal and the building of the vision and the potential that we sometimes don't really give enough credit to. You know how every single new beginning is like another beginnings. And wait, stop. Did you watch my story the other day? I did, I did. That's where that comes from.

Kasia: 37:46

Oh, my God, I am not that psychic. I mean thank you Instagram, but I mean that it is so true and I think that, again, like we're so focused on the initiation of things and like that success that we, I think we need to give a little bit more credit to releasing. So I'm curious like, what was the process of letting go like for you? Like was it very easy? Like once you have accepted the fact that you wanted to let go of Clayton Yoga, the studio, like what did that look? Like? What were some of the things? Perhaps that were a struggle, because I think a lot of people need to let go in order to step into that next phase of their life.

Carley DeMarco: 38:24

You have to let go there. Our artists, our resident artists, drew a comic in the newspaper for the expansion issue with MJ, mj Renshaw, and the comic basically said like, let go to let grow, and you just have to let go to be able to create, create space for things that are destined to come in. Okay, so let me go back and reference the Instagram so that people know what you're talking about. So the woman who is buying the studio the new owner now was one of my teachers and we had gone out the other night.

Carley DeMarco: 38:55

We're planning our class for tomorrow actually, it's going to be my last class teaching and we're having a celebration and a thank you from me and we're co-teaching the class where I'll teach the beginning half and she'll teach the last half, which is really symbolic and lovely and wonderful and all the things. And we decided to go out to dinner after and next thing, you know, like more of the yoga students are like coming in and they're meeting up with us and and then we're at karaoke, at the honky tonk, and we're doing karaoke and of course it's the end of the night and closing time comes on and we're singing and we're dancing and we realize that the lyric says like say, wait, say the lyric, again it was every new beginning is another beginning's end or something.

Carley DeMarco: 39:35

Yeah and so we just like stop and me and the teacher and the new owner look at each other and we're like oh my god. And basically we're both kind of in tears and we make steve, who's the karaoke guy. We're both kind of in tears and we make Steve, who's the karaoke guy. We're like play it again. And so we're like this time when we're playing it, like we prop up our phone and we're like dancing together and really relishing in that moment. So, just for reference on what you were saying about that, letting go has been a challenge for sure. I mean it's really hard to let go of something that you put your entire being into and, like we talked about, mean it's really hard to let go of something that you put your entire being into and, like we talked about earlier, it's really hard to let go of something that is your identity and that's like, as silly as this sounds, but I just want to be completely honest with you. Like there was a moment when I thought like how weird is it going to be when I take out founder of Clayton Yoga Studio in my Instagram bio and I know that that sounds like superficial and silly, but I mean it is my identity, like I am really proud with what I built and to just erase that part of my life sort of seems super weird and sad. But at the same time I'm so excited to focus on and nurture the newspaper that I just know deep down this is what I'm supposed to be doing and that I learned everything that I was supposed to learn from the studio. My teachings are kind of done there and now it's being passed on to Danielle, who will nurture it and give it a different kind of energy that it needs. Like I always say, like I breathed life into it. But it has its own heartbeat and the heartbeat is because of the community and Danielle will really nurture it in a different way. And and you know the way that it needs.

Carley DeMarco: 41:22

It kind of reminds me of I mean, it's not very similar, but sort of similar to, you know, the book creative magic or no big magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I love it, yeah. So how she talks about how like ideas are in the universal consciousness and they're not really yours, like they kind of come into people's minds and if you don't do anything with it for a while, like it's going to pass on to the next person, sort of thing. And I remember when I opened the studio and Danielle came to teach for us a year ago and she said you know, it was always my dream to have a yoga studio. And at the time I'm like I'm not even thinking about about closing it or anything and I was like, oh, like very cool. And now I just feel like the Clayton Yoga idea is in her mind now. It's kind of it's left mine and it's in hers and that's kind of the big magic reference there.

Kasia: 42:14

But yeah, I love that and I just appreciate you naming again like the need to release our attachment to having the things that we create, or the relationships that we're in, or the things that you know, the way that we even look to be, like our identity, like you can't have the freedom to change and create and evolve if you're stuck on that, and I think that is like just such a huge theme that needs to be shared, because I do think that's like one of the bigger things that, at least in my experience, held me back from taking the leaps of faith that I wanted to take for so long, and I know that whoever's listening to this will definitely resonate with that. So I could keep asking you questions for hours, but we're kind of coming up on time. I would love to hear from you what are some of the wellness practices that support you day to day. So I'm going to do a little bit of like rapid fire and you can answer however you like and we'll just go from there, okay.

Kasia: 43:18

So first things first. Morning or evening routine. If you have to pick one morning, okay what does it look like for you?

Carley DeMarco: 43:24

32 ounces of lemon water, and I know that that is like such a simple thing and it's almost just like oh, everybody knows that, but it's such a cliche, but it's so profound and it's the simple things. If you can stick to something, that's going to be the biggest impact instead of trying to do some crazy routine that you can't stick with. So it's lemon water and it's journaling. I'm a dear diary girl, so the day I die I love to journal. I was doing morning pages before I even knew morning pages was a thing, so those are two that I lean on every single day.

Carley DeMarco: 43:57

Writing in my journal really helps to clear my mind. Like it gets all of the shit out, like my journal prompts are not like oh my God, the sky is beautiful and I'm so grateful for this. Blah, blah, blah. Like I'm literally like I'm so grateful for this blah, blah, blah. Like I'm literally like I'm really struggling right now and this is what I'm mad at and I'm getting it all out on the page and that way it can clear my mind and not only do I feel better but I'm more creative because of it. Because when I go down to sit and write or come up with ideas for the paper, other things. It's like letting go. You got to let go of that stuff in order to create space for new things to come in. So yeah, those two things.

Kasia: 44:30

Amazing. Okay Now, in terms of some of the spiritual practices that support you, I know you mentioned to be magnetic TBM. Well, deep, link them below. I love, love TBM. What else is super supportive, or is that kind of like the main modality that you're leaning on?

Carley DeMarco: 44:46

I actually I love TBM and I take breaks with it because it is an intense process. I've been doing it since even before they were called TBM. I don't even remember what the first thing was called, but it was a really intense process for me in the beginning because you a lot of old memories are resurfacing that you kind of buried. So I don't do to be magnetic consistently. I mean I'll be on and off with it, but I allow myself to take breaks there Spiritually. The river when I go to the river, that's when I feel closest to God. Source whatever.

Carley DeMarco: 45:23

However, whatever you call it, I think these days it's it's just being really present. And I mean everything is spiritual, like noticing how convert I mean I'm staring at my husband right now but like noticing a conversation with my husband and how, like that spiritual and how like, even if it's a conflict or whatever, like it's an opportunity for growth and involvement Everything that we encounter is spiritual. I mean everybody is God in drag. And I'm just going to say Otis, the interview is so good I wrote a profile on him.

Carley DeMarco: 45:54

You have to get the July issue but he basically talks about how. I asked him like how his relationship with God informs his relationship with Christy and his wife and his kids, and he was like it's the opposite. It's like how does my relationship with Christy and my children bring me closer to God? And so it's just recognizing that like, yeah, everything's spiritual. He blew me out of the water. He was so vulnerable, literally. One of the working titles for his thing was, like Otis Biskowskis, on being real fucking human. Because there's a part in the interview where he says this is going to be real fucking human because I caught him at a time when he was going through shit. And for him to be so vulnerable with me, like that and open, it's really beautiful to see people being human.

Kasia: 46:40

Love, it All right. And then last question coffee, tea or something else?

Carley DeMarco: 46:58

Oh my god, you're gonna crack up right now. You guys can't see this, but I have tea here, coffee here. Oh my God, I have two months, okay. So I okay, I'm a, I'm a freak about my tea I love.

Carley DeMarco: 47:03

I did Marisha Miranowski's herbalism program for a year before. I was just like so burnt out from everything I was doing that I needed to take a break. But the number one thing that I have taken from that is herbal infusions. So every night I'll take a big 32 ounce jar of something, or 32 ounce mason jar and I'll put in right now I'm working with nettles about a palm size of that cover it with water, shake it up and then the next day strain it and I'll just drink it throughout the entire day. So I love tea for getting my foundational nutrients and and all the beautiful energy of tea. And she says that like drinking nettles is like drinking the tip milk of the earth and that's literally what it feels like is just deeply replenishing all of your reserves. And it's a root chakra herb. It's really good for the adrenals, which I need so badly right now, supportive for the blood, great for the hair and the nails. So I love tea and I wish that I didn't love coffee.

Carley DeMarco: 47:58

But I think it's the ritual of coffee Like can you relate? Like just the smell and just having a cup of it. It's not so much the energy that it gives or like that little boost of something which it does, but sometimes if I have too much I just get anxious. So I'm both and it's not good or bad, it just is what it is. I used to like yeah, I used to like kind of demonize coffee and like whenever I would drink it I would kind of like shame myself because I'm like I'm trying to heal my adrenals and so I used to kind of shame myself if I needed coffee or whatever, if I wanted to really relish in a drink of it. But if I'm present with the coffee, then I feel good about it. But I'm both.

Kasia: 48:37

You know it's really interesting. I think it's also just so important to a enjoy the things that bring you pleasure. Like I noticed that when I drink coffee or like an espresso in Europe, it just hits different, like when I'm on vacation, like I'm pretty sure it's stronger, I don't get jittery, it tastes so good. And then now I feel like I make it. I also I do like half decaf, so that like that's enough for me at this point, but I will not finish it and I'm like okay with like, I'm just like just the taste, the ritual, as you said, like the smell of it, and I think that's okay, I love.

Carley DeMarco: 49:18

I love your newfound relationship with coffee.

Kasia: 49:19

You're so right about vacation, you're so right about that. It doesn't make me jittery. I'm like I can have an espresso and I'm fine. So I think there's something there. I mean, unless the coffee is just better there. I mean that that could be possible.

Carley DeMarco: 49:29

Yeah, like what if we got coffee from Italy and brought it back over? Like, do we think it'd be the same? Or do you think it's just being on vacation and having that like disconnect from the outer world and like the daily do's that make it a little bit more tolerable?

Kasia: 49:43

I honestly I mean personally, I think it's it's state, because if I'm super stressed out, I mean coffee makes me more stressed, right?

Carley DeMarco: 49:51

So it's like the energy.

Kasia: 49:52

Oh my God, we're having like a moment here. But, like where your mind goes, the energy flows and I wonder if it's like the same thing with, like the things that you're consuming, right, like it's just depends on your relationship with it in the moment. At least that's been my experience. So I love that.

Carley DeMarco: 50:09

I can relate, that's something I'm working on, too, is not labeling things as bad or good, like when I'm consuming them, because I feel like I was I've been in the past so strict with what I'm eating and and just the thought of something being not incredible for me or like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna like have this or this or this to happen that makes it worse, and so I'm really working with blessing my food before I have it and even if it's like not ideal, whatever I'm eating, if it's bad, I'm just saying you know, this is going to nourish me, yeah. Quotes.

Kasia: 50:41

This is going to nourish me.

Carley DeMarco: 50:43

Regardless. This will nourish me and it's going to be be so good. Being really present and like enjoying it is the most important.

Kasia: 50:51

I love that, all right. Well, on that note, I would love for you to share. Where can people find you anything cool that you have going on? Don't worry, we'll hyperlink everything in the show notes. You don't have to spell it out, but I just I know people are going to want to catch up, so let me know.

Carley DeMarco: 51:06

Okay, so you can find me on Instagram at theretreatbycarley. Our website is www. theretreatbycarley. com and you can access the newspaper and check out any of our future retreats there, and you can also look at our new classified section, which is where you can share your offerings and seekings with our community without all of the distractions that you might be doing with something else. So I love classifieds. Right now, it's where my heart is.

Kasia: 51:38

I cannot wait to go through it. This is going to be my Sunday ritual. I've been holding onto it all week in order to open up the latest newspaper edition that I've gotten. And yeah, Carley, this was such a joy. Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you so much.

Carley DeMarco: 51:55

I had the best. This is the best part of my day, thank you.

Kasia: 51:59

I love it. Thanks everyone for tuning in. See you next time. Thank you so much for tuning into the Other Way. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a five-star review. It really helps the podcast grow and I'm ever so grateful. If you want to stay connected, you can find information on how in our show notes. And finally, if you're curious about inflow and want free resources around cyclical living or moon cycles, check out inflowplannercom. And, of course, for all my listeners, you can use the code podcast10, and that's all lowercase podcast10 for 10% off any purchase. All right, that's all for today. See you next time.